Look, I'm Just Going to Level With You

This is my parents' house. They built it in 2000 as their custom retirement dream home, designed every detail for how they wanted to age in the mountains. Now they're down the street near me in Iowa, and I'm trying to sell a house that was built for two very specific people who are not the average Zillow browser.

When we listed, both Zillow and a private appraisal agreed: $965K. We started there in April. We've dropped it seven times. We're now over a quarter million below the original appraisal. The market has spoken, and it has been... let's say "direct" in its feedback.

What You're Actually Getting

3,620 square feet of well-maintained house in a quiet Maggie Valley location. Solid construction. Two full kitchens because my parents wanted a true in-law suite setup. Wide doorways, single-level main living, an elevator, standup tub—basically everything you'd design if you were serious about accessibility.

The bones are legitimately good. The location is legitimately nice.

What You're Not Getting

A vacation rental cash cow. There's no hot tub. There's a stellar view in the dead of winter when the leaves are off, but since the trees haven't been cleared, there's no view during the times of year when people are actually looking at houses. (Chainsaw and a vision sold separately.) It is a practical and well-designed home.

That second kitchen? Made perfect sense for my parents. For most buyers, it's like finding out a house has two libraries—you stand there thinking "but... why?" and then move on.

Who Should Actually Look at This

Someone who sees the obvious play: you're buying significantly under appraisal on solid construction in a good location. Clear some trees, add the hot tub, stage it less like a retirement home, and you've got equity built in.

Or you actually need the multi-gen setup and don't want to renovate to create it.

Or you see an opportunity to put the savings into a remodel to get exactly what you want on an incredible property with a private stream, real privacy, and mountain views once you clear a few trees.

Why This Price

Because my parents are now cash poor and having trouble floating two mortgages, and I'm tired of pretending the market is wrong. At some point you stop arguing with reality and price it like you actually want it sold.

Let's Make a Deal

Seriously. Ask for closing costs, ask for reasonable concessions—you'll almost certainly get them. We're here to close, not to play games or squeeze every last dollar out of this. My parents need to move forward, and honestly, so do I.

Showings welcome. Questions answered honestly. Bonus points if you can explain what you'd actually do with two kitchens.